Matt Saunders Quotes
Jenny Johnson: I gotta go to the bathroom.
Matt Saunders: You didn't just go to the bathroom?
Jenny Johnson: Are you keeping track? That's kind of creepy.
[over the phone]
Matt Saunders: What's going on there?
Vaughn Haige: Some big fire on 73rd and Broadway. Everything's burning.
Matt Saunders: Is anyone hurt?
Vaughn Haige: I don't know, probably. It's blocking my way to the gym.
Matt Saunders: All my thoughts are with you in this time of crisis.
Matt Saunders: Wanna get a beer?
Professor Bedlam: Sure, let's do it.
Matt Saunders: If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Vaughn Haige: The ability to gratify myself orally.
Matt Saunders: Interesting. But wouldn't that be a little...
Matt Saunders, Vaughn Haige: Gay.
Vaughn Haige: No.
Matt Saunders: Yeah.
Vaughn Haige: Not at all. Think about it.
Matt Saunders: Really? It seems that way.
Matt Saunders: I'm not going to help you kill her!
Professor Bedlam: Kill? I didn't say "kill"! I said "neutralize"! It's a neutral word... like Switzerland!
Go and hide out somewhere. San Diego, Tahiti, Utah. No! Not Utah. Utah sucks.
Carla Dunkirk: You are headed for some serious trouble.
Matt Saunders: I hear you, Homegirl. I got it.
Jenny Johnson: [seductively, walking toward him slowly] Matt Saunders, I'm afraid you've been a very evil boy. I think you need to be brought to justice.
Matt Saunders: [with a big grin on his face] Oh, yeah, I have been known to break a few rules here and there.
Jenny Johnson: [still seductive] Total, unequivocal justice.
Jenny Johnson: [after breaking the bed while having sex] I'm sorry. I'll get you a new one.
Matt Saunders: A bed or a penis?
Jenny Johnson: Both.
[after revealing her secret to Matt]
Jenny Johnson: Say "I'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell."
Matt Saunders: Is that a possibility?
Jenny Johnson: Say it!
Matt Saunders: Ok. I'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell.