Maxwell Smart Quotes
Agent 99: You lied about finding evidence of radioactivity
Agent 23: You conveniently killed Krstic before anyone could question him.
The Chief: And there's that little matter with you stoning my head with a fire extinguisher.
Maxwell Smart: I said I was sorry, you just didn't hear me because you were in a mini coma.
Agent 99: Not bad for a rookie.
Maxwell Smart: Not bad for an old lady.
[given a blanket] Oh good, the itchy kind, my favorite, does this one also have small pox? And that was a human tooth...
Okay, not to keep dwelling on this, but that was some kiss. How did you know that will work? Have you kissed other men who then plummented to their deaths?
Maxwell Smart: Oh gee, Maxie-man, I haven't heard that one before!
Maxwell Smart: I never have heard that before, actually.
Agent 99: Max has no experience, and I don't want him as my partner.
Maxwell Smart: Well, that is a sucker punch to the gonads.
Mother of pearl!
Maxwell Smart: Well, you were no help at all.
Agent 99: How could I help? I'm just a woman with a dusty old uterus.
Maxwell Smart: I never said dusty.
It's okay, 99. Big people feel pain, too.
There was a guy in the bathroom - and he was really hot!
Agent 99: Did I hear something?
Maxwell Smart: Yes, there were some tap dancers in the hallway.
Agent 99: Did you see anything while I was dancing?
Maxwell Smart: Just once, but I don't think you expected him to lift you that high.