Maxwell Smart: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
The Chief: I don't know. Were you thinking, "Holy shit, holy shit, a sword fish almost went through my head"? If so, then yes.

Agent 99: I used to look like my mom.
Maxwell Smart: I used to look like two of my moms put together.

[to Agent 99] Is that your default setting or something? Oh, today's Tuesday, I'll punch Max. Oh look, a box of kittens, I think I'll punch Max. I have this piece of bread so now I'm going to punch Max.

Maxwell Smart: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
The Chief: I don't know. Were you thinking, "Holy shit, holy shit, a sword fish almost went through my head"? If so, the

Agent 99: I used to look like my mom.
Maxwell Smart: I used to look like two of my moms put together.

Maxwell Smart: There are 150 special forces snipers surrounding this building.
Siegfried: No there's not.
Maxwell Smart: Would you believe 2 dozen Delta Force commandoes?
Siegfried: No.
Maxwell Smart: How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun.

That is a sucker punch to the gonads.

Agent 99: Are you staring at my butt?
Maxwell Smart: No, no, I...I was, but I'm not...I'm staring again.

Maxwell Smart: [after he gets recruited as a new agent] I request a cone of silence.
Maxwell Smart: [he doesn't press the button hard enough so everyone can hear him] Oh, I'm so happy! I'm so happy! This is the best day of my life!
Lloyd: Dude, you didn't press the button hard enough...
Maxwell Smart: Right.

Siegfried: How do I know you're not from CONTROL?
Maxwell Smart: If I were from CONTROL, you'd already be dead.
Siegfried: If you were from CONTROL, YOU'D already be dead.
Maxwell Smart: Neither of us is dead, so I'm obviously not from CONTROL.
[long pause]
Shtarker: That actually makes sense.

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Maxwell Smart

Maxwell Smart Picture

Maxwell Smart is the brains (sort of) behind Get Smart. He's the main referred to in the title of the movie, as everyone is out to get him. Doesn't seem like it should be that hard, of course. Maxwell Smart isn't the most intelligent spy on the planet.

Played By
Steve Carell
Full Name
Maxwell Smart