I'm sorry, I would sign, but I don't know the language.

Meredith Morton: I slept with your brother.
Everett Stone: You slept with who?
Thad Stone: Do not look at me!

[to Amy's ex-boyfriend] You're the guy that popped Amy's cherry!

Ben Stone: You were shovelling snow.
Meredith Morton: I... What?
Ben Stone: You were just a little girl in a flannel night gown. And you were shovelling snow from the walk in front of our house. And I was the snow, I was the snow. And everywhere it landed and everywhere it covered. You scoop me up with a big red shovel. You scoop me up.

Meredith Morton: What's so great about you guys?
Sybil Stone: Uh, nothing... it's just that we're all that we've got.

Sybil Stone: Are those mushrooms?
Meredith Morton: Yes, those are mushrooms.
Patrick Thomas: Isn't Everett allergic to mushrooms?
Meredith Morton: He is?
Ben Stone: OK, what we got going on over here? Santa's workshop. Er... OK, wha-what can I do to be of service Meredith, wha-what can I do?
Meredith Morton: Oh, well... I think I'm all set. Everett had to run some errands in town, then he and Thad are going to meet Julie's bus...
Ben Stone: Are those mushrooms?
Meredith Morton: I DIDN'T KNOW!

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