Miles Logan: Yo tengo el gato los pantalones.
Carlson: You just said you have a cat in your pants.

[talking to Deacon] I know you don't want to go to jail in Mexico because nobody wants to go to jail in Mexico. They put all kinds of burritos in your ass.

What are you gonna do with one shoelace? Floss your ass with it.

Miles Logan: Put your hands on the Oodles of Noodles.
Tulley: Chicken or beef?
Miles Logan: Chicken.

Le Fleur: Want to prove you are not a cop? Shoot him.
Miles Logan: No problem.

Carlson. I've got something to tell you. I'm not from West Covina. I'm from Internal Affairs.

Hey, this is the police. Move your busted-ass vehicle. Move, move, move, move. This is the LAPD. We'll pop one in your ass. We got guns and shit.

Miles Logan: Don't you ever get all up on this thing?
Carlson: I don't think I've ever gotten all up on anything, sir.

No, I'm over your head, because your head's up your ass.

"Can't believe so much bad shit can happen on such a beautiful day."

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