Torrance Shipman: Thank God you're here this season Missy. I couldn't have done it alone.
Missy: Aww, tear.

I don't know what's scarier, neurotic cheerleaders or the pressure to win. I could make a killing selling something like Diet Prozac.

Missy: So is every game that eventful?
Torrance Shipman: No, thank God. We have a real situation on our hands. I mean, we were humiliated on our own turf.
Missy: We might have to have a rumble.
Torrance Shipman: This is a serious problem!
Missy: Oh, so is your breath.

Torrance Shipman: He's your brother, you don't see him the way I do.
Missy: And that's a good thing because that would be a crime.

Missy: You ripped off those cheers!
Torrance Shipman: Excuse me, Missy, our cheers are 100 percent original. Count the trophies!
Missy: Well, your trophies are bullshit, and you're a sad ass liar.
Torrance Shipman: All right, that's it! Get out of the car, I'm gonna kick your ass!


Isis: Every time we get some, here y'all come trying to steal it, putting some blonde hair on it and calling it something different. We've had the best squad around for years, but no one's been able to see what we can do. But you better believe, all that's gonna change this year. I'm captain, and I guarantee you we'll make it to Nationals. So just hand over the tape you made tonight, we'll call it even for now.
Torrance Shipman: We don't have any tape.
Missy: Really. We just came to see the show.
Jenelope: What? Come on, Isis! Let me do this!
Isis: You know what? Let's go.
Jenelope: Wait a minute. So that's it? We're just gonna let them go?
Isis: Yeah. Because unlike them, we have class.
Torrance Shipman: I swear I had no idea.
Isis: Well, now you do.
Jenelope: Huh! You been touched by an angel, girl!

Torrance Shipman: Awesome, oh wow! Like, totally freak me out! I mean, right on! The Toros sure are number one!
Missy: [cheering] I transferred from Los Angeles, your school has no gymnastics team, this is a last resort!
[back to normal tone]
Missy: Okay, so I never cheered before. So what? What about doing something that actually requires neurons.

Torrance Shipman: Do you know what this means? My entire cheerleading career has been a lie.
Missy: Well, look on the bright side - It's only cheerleading!
Torrance Shipman: I *am* only cheerleading.

All right, we'll just get it over with. Hey, Torrance, get over here! My brother wants to check out your rack.

Missy: See, I'm a hardcore gymnast. No way jumping up and down yelling "Go Team Go!" is gonna satisfy me.
Torrance Shipman: We're gymnasts too... except no beams, no bars, no vault.

Torrance Shipman: Ever been to a cheerleading competition?
Missy: Oh, you mean like a football game?
Torrance Shipman: No, not a game, those are like practices for us. I'm talking about a tournament. ESPN cameras all around. Hundreds of people cheering.
Cliff: Wait a minute, people cheering... cheerleaders?
Torrance Shipman: That's right. Lots of people. Here's the deal, Missy. We're the shit, the best. We work hard, have fun, and win national championships. I'm offering you a chance to be a part of that.

Missy: What is your sexuality?
Les: Well, Jan's straight, and I'm... controversial.
Missy: Are you trying to tell me you speak fag?
Les: Oh, fluently.

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