Jim McAllister: Paul, what is your favorite fruit?
Paul Metzler: Pears.
Jim McAllister: Okay, now...
Paul Metzler: No wait! Apples.
Jim McAllister: Great, now say that everyday you had an apple. An apple, an apple and more apples. You probably thought that apples were pretty good, even if you got a rotten one every once in awhile. Then one day there was an orange. Now you can choose, do you want an apple or do you want an orange? That's democracy.
Paul Metzler: I also like bananas.
Jim McAllister: Exactly!

I sure was surprised the day Lisa Flanagan asked me for a ride home and ended up blowing me.

My leg wasn't bugging me too much, and the weather was so nice, and every day after school Lisa and I would go to her house to fuck and have a hot tub.

[brainstorming] Paul Power... Paul for President... Paul... Promise... Progress... Peanut...

[praying[ Dear God, than you for all your blessings. You've given me so many things, like good health, nice parents, a nice truck, and what I'm told is a large penis, and I'm very grateful, but I sure am worried about Tammy. In my heart, I still can't believe she tore down my posters, but sometimes, she does get so weird and angry. Please help her be a happier person because she's so smart and sensitive and I love her so much. Also, I'm nervous about the election tomorrow and I guess I want to win and all, but I know that's totally up to you. You'll decide who the best person is and I'll accept it. And forgive me for my sins, whatever they may be. Amen.

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Paul Metzler


Played By
Chris Klein
Full Name
Paul Metzler