Dr. Jules Hilbert: What is your favorite word?
Harold Crick: Integer.

Dr. Jules Hilbert: Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you?
Harold Crick: I just started auditing a woman who told me to get bent.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Well, that sounds like a comedy. Try to develop that.

Dr. Jules Hilbert: Aren't you relieved to know that you're not a golem?
Harold Crick: Yes. I am relieved to know that I am not a golem.

Dr. Jules Hilbert: Hell Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted.
Harold Crick: What is wrong with you? Hey, I don't want to eat nothing but pancakes, I want to live! I mean, who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living chooses pancakes?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led... and, of course, the quality of the pancakes.

Let's start with ridiculous and work backwards.

Dr. Jules Hilbert

Let me ask you this. On a scale of one to ten, what are the chances that you'll be assassinated - one being highly unlikely, ten being you're expecting it around every corner?

Dr. Jules Hilbert

Little did he know. That means there's something he doesn't know, which means there's something you don't know, did you know that?

Dr. Jules Hilbert

Dr. Jules Hilbert: The thing to determine conclusively is whether you are in a comedy or a tragedy. Have you met anyone who simply might loathe the very core of you?
Harold Crick: I'm an IRS agent. Everyone hates me.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Well, that sounds like a comedy!

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Professor Jules Hilbert

Professor Jules Hilbert Picture

Professor Jules Hilbert is Karen Eiffel's biggest fan.  He also happens to be the man that Harold Crick approaches for help when he starts hearing a narrator in his head.

Played By
Dustin Hoffman
Full Name
Professor Jules Hilbert