I got to rent movies, fuck with assholes, and hang out with my best friend, Dante.

May your first child be a masculine child!

What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'd never have yourself?

Fuck off with your D&D GoBot bullshit.

Randal Graves: Ladies and gentlemen, and you, Elias! Straight from the debauchery capital of the world, TI-juana Mexico!
Dante Hicks: Oh, God, no.
Randal Graves: Oh, God, yes!

Elias: If he's gonna jerk off, I'm gonna jerk off, too
Randal Graves: I don't think he's gonna jerk off.

Dante Hicks: Can you feel it?
Randal Graves: Feel what?
Dante Hicks: Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.

Randal Graves: You swung at me!
Dante Hicks: You ducked.
Randal Graves: Because you swung at me!

You gotta be as blind as Anne Frank not to see that.

Randal Graves: Why haven't you fucked Myra yet?
Elias: Well we can't because of Pillow Pants.
Randal Graves: What the fuck's Pillow Pants?
Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll that lives in her pussy.

Dante Hicks: You wouldn't wanna be with a girl with an oversized clit?
Randal Graves: No because the next step would be a guy with an undersized dick.

Becky: Shit, I had to wait on a guy I blew after Junior Prom.
Randal Graves: Yeah, I've waited on your brother too.

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Randal Graves

The Clerks are Back!

Randal Graves is the funny clerk, obnoxious clerk from Clerks and Clerks II.  In the original Clerks, Randal worked at a video store, though he spends most of his time with his best friend at the convience store.  In the second Clerks, Randal actually works with Dante at Mooby's fast food restaurant.

Played By
Jeff Anderson
Full Name
Randal Graves