Andrew Largeman: Who are you?
Sam: I'm your new friend Sam. Tissue?
Mark: Hey, vagina!
Andrew Largeman: Hey, what's up, guys? Uh, Sam, it's Mark, Dave, and you remember Jesse.
Dave: What's up?
Mark: Hey, nice to meet you. I'm sorry I said vagina just now. I didn't know you were here.
Sam: Oh, that's okay.
Mark: Nice. Let's get fucked up.
Sam: I haven't even lied in like, the past two days.
Andrew Largeman: Is that true?
This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before and that no one will copy throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing.
Sam: What you got?
Andrew Largeman: I got a little buzz going
Andrew Largeman: and I like you.
[Sam, embarassed, giggles]
Andrew Largeman: So there's that. I guess I have that.
Sam: I can tap-dance. You wanna see me tap-dance?
Andrew Largeman: I would love to see you tap-dance.
That's life. If nothing else, its life. It's real, and sometimes it fuckin' hurts, but it's sort of all we have.
The helmet I was wearing... Oh come on, that's funny. That's really funny, I mean I'm the only person who wears a helmet to work who isn't putting out fires or racing for NASCAR. But what do you do, I can't quit... their insurance is amazing, what do you do? You laugh. I'm not saying I don't cry but in between I laugh and I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. Plus, I look forward to a good cry. It feels pretty good.
Sam: We're not gonna make out or anything, okay?
Andrew Largeman: What?
Sam: Oh, I'm sorry. I just totally ruined that moment, didn't I?
Sam: Tickle is my favorite thing in the whole world. It's all that's left of Nanny, my blanket.
Andrew Largeman: Tickle is all that remains. Was there a hurricane or something?
Sam: Shut up!
OK, so... so... sometimes I lie. I mean, I'm weird, man. About random stuff too, I don't even know why I do it. It's like... it's like a tick, I mean sometimes I hear myself say something and think, Wow, that wasn't even remotely true.
Sam: Wow. That's pretty damn random of you there, Andrew. Nice to meet you, can I use you?
Andrew Largeman: No.
Sam: It must be the Hollywood in you.
Sam: He's my knight in shining armor.
Andrew Largeman: Don't talk about knights around Mark, it's a sore subject.
Mark: I'm gonna kill that motherfucker!
Andrew Largeman: Pun intended?