Get your ass on the bed and prepare for the fuck of your life. After what you put me through I deserve it.

It's not like you have a husband - unless you're married to Jesus.

Kathryn: You're telling me you had the chance to fuck her and you didn't? God, are you a chump.
Sebastian: A momentary lapse of judgment, soon to be rectified.

Sebastian: Unbelievable! Some fag, no offense...
Blaine: None taken.
Sebastian: Wrote a letter to this chick describing my lascivious tactics.
Blaine: Any ideas who it could be?
Sebastian: Blaine, if I knew who it was, that person would be in a momentous amount of pain!

Sebastian: Ohh well, duty calls. Dr. Greenbaum and her daughter should make for interesting entry.
Kathryn: Ohh, your journal. Could you be more queer?
Sebastian: Could you be more desperate to read it?

I didn't know it was asshole day at the Valmont house.

Kathryn: The parental units called while you were out.
Sebastian: How IS your gold-digging, whore of a mother enjoying Bali?
Kathryn: She suspects your impotent, alcoholic father is diddling the maid.
Sebastian: Good.

Kathryn: I wanna FUCK!
Sebastian: And I don't.

Sebastian: I have a reputation to uphold.
Kathryn: Oh, but diddling the therapist's is a challenge.
Sebastian: She was overcharging.

Annette: I'm impressed.
Sebastian: Well, I'm in love.

Sebastian: Cecile, you know what would be super-duper sexy? If you lost all the clothes.
Cecile Caldwell: I don't think so.

Kathryn: Fuck her yet?
Sebastian: Working on it.
Kathryn: Loser.
Sebastian: Blow me.
Kathryn: Call me later?

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