Shaun: I don't think I've got it in me to shoot my mum, roommate, and girlfriend all in one day...
Liz: Who said I was taking you back?
This one comes with a basic sort of digital package, uh, you got your Lifestyle Channels there, a bit of "Trisha," um, you got "Entertainment" - don't know what that is. News. All the basic, uh, news channels.
Ed: See? You don't need Liz to have a good time.
Shaun: Oh, don't, man.
Ed: No! Go ahead, look at me. Can I just say one more thing? I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I'm not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I'm not going to bombard you with clichÃˆs. But what I will say is this?
Ed: It's not the end of the world.
Liz: Goodbye, Ed. Love you.
Shaun: I love you too, Ed.
Would anyone like... a peanut?
Ed: Do you want your messages?
Ed: Well, your mum rang about you going around tomorrow night, and then Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight, and then your mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight.
As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Anagram of meat is team... I don't know what he was talking about.
Ed: You gonna thank me then?
Shaun: For what?
Ed: Tidying up!
Shaun: Doesn't look that tidy.
Ed: Well, I had a few beers when I finished.
Shaun: Maybe he's not here.
Ed: Hey prick!
Liz: You hang out with my friends? Sorry, a failed actress and a twat?
Shaun: Well, that's a bit harsh.
Liz: Your words!
Shaun: I did NOT call Dianne a failed actress!
Ed: Big Al says so.
Shaun: Yeah, but Big Al says dogs can't look up!
Shaun: David, kill the Queen!
Shaun: The jukebox!