Ladies, you'd better be working hard - you weren't hired for your looks. Actually you were. Not you.

Steve Stifler: I love the Twilight books. New Moon is my favorite!
Teen Girl: Mine too!
Steve Stifler: Oh my god, it's like, we have so much in common!

Let's make this reunion our bitch!

Vagina shark!

Drink it! Drink it! Drink it!

Be her Daddy!

Steve Stifler: Hey, Kev, seen shit break lately?
Kevin: Why? What did you do to him?
Steve Stifler: Me? Nothing. I'm the one whose ass he kicked. But uh... I'll tell you one thing... I don't think he's gonna have a problem shitting in school anymore. Slipped a little something into his Moccachino.

You guys are pathetic. I'm gonna find myself a little hottie. SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL!

Steve Stifler: You actually said that?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Shut up!
Jim: You did better than me, Nova.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Don't call me that any more. I'm a fraud.

Steve Stifler: Choir chick! What the hell are you doing here?
Heather: Well, uh, I was asking Chris to the prom. So do you wanna go?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Yeah, that would be great.
Steve Stifler: Well, just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Stifler, fuck! I mean, why do you gotta be so insensitive all the time?
Steve Stifler: What? Whatever.

Kevin: Hey Stifler, how's the pale ale?
Steve Stifler: Fuck you!

Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: You gotta ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.
Steve Stifler: I dunno, man, that sounds like a lot of work.

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