Bill: Ted, it's the Grim Reaper!
Ted: Oh, how's it hangin' Death?

Missy: Spirits, can you hear me?
Ted: Yeah and we can totally see down...
Bill: Ted! That's your mom, dude!

Bill: Hey Ted? Wanna play 20 questions?
Ted: Okay! I got one!
Bill: Is it a mineral?
Ted: Yeah!
Bill: Are you a tank?
Ted: Whoa! Yeah!

Bill: Ted, you know, if I die, you can have my Megadeth collection.
Ted: But dude, we are already dead.
Bill: Oh. Well then they're yours, dude.

Colonel Oates: Get down and give me infinity.
Bill: There is no way we could possibly do infinity push-ups.
Ted: Well maybe if he lets us do them girly-style...

Grim Reaper: I believe Colonel Mustard did it in the study with a candlestick.
Bill: Sorry, death, you lose! It was Professor Plum!
Grim Reaper: I said Plum!
Ted: No way! You said Mustard! Can we go back now?
Grim Reaper: Uh, best three out of five!
Ted: I don't believe this guy!

Bill: It is indeed a pleasure to introduce to you a gentleman we picked up in medieval Mongolia in the year 1269.
Ted: Please welcome, the very excellent barbarian...
Ted, Bill: ...MR. GENGHIS KHAN!
[All the students applaud wildly for Khan]
Ted: This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China, and who, we were told, 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Oshman's Sporting Goods.

Ted: Miss Preston, we'd like you to meet some of our friends.
Bill: This is, uh, Dave Beeth Oven.
Beethoven: Sie sind so schön, Madame.
Bill: And, uh, Maxine of Arc, Missy, Herman the Kid...
Ted: Bob "Genghis" Khan, Dennis Frood, So-crates Johnson, and, uh... Abraham Lincoln.
Miss Preston: It's so nice to meet you all. There's sodas in the fridge.

Henry VII: Put them in the iron maiden.
Ted: Iron Maiden?
Bill, Ted: Excellent!
[air guitar]
Henry VII: Execute them.
Bill, Ted: Bogus!

Bill: Be excellent to each other.
Ted: Party on, dudes!

Future Ted: Rufus!
Future Bill: Listen to this dude Rufus. He knows what he's talking about.
Future Ted: Right. Oh, and Ted? Give my love to the princesses?
Ted: Who?
Future Ted: You'll see.

Bill: [Reading from phone book] The only true wisdom consists in knowing, that you know nothing.
Ted: That's us, dude.
Bill: Oh, yeah!

FREE Movie Newsletter