Cliff: I begged my mom for a brother.
Torrance Shipman: He'd look a little ridiculous in that bikini, wouldn't he?

Big Red: This season should've been gravy, ok? I handpicked the squad, I delivered an idiot-proof routine... Now, Platter... nationals, hello?
Torrance Shipman: Don't you mean a stolen routine?
Big Red: Don't be so naive, Torrance. Look, the truth is I was real hitter, ok? I did what I had to do to win a nationals. And ever since I handed the reins over to you, you've run my squad straight into the ground! If I made any mistake as a squad leader, it wasn't borrowing cheers. It was announcing you as my successor.

Torrance Shipman: Thank God you're here this season Missy. I couldn't have done it alone.
Missy: Aww, tear.

Missy: So is every game that eventful?
Torrance Shipman: No, thank God. We have a real situation on our hands. I mean, we were humiliated on our own turf.
Missy: We might have to have a rumble.
Torrance Shipman: This is a serious problem!
Missy: Oh, so is your breath.

Torrance Shipman: Shut up, moron!
Justin Shipman: It's not my fault you're in love with a big gay cheerleader who won't return your phone calls.
Torrance Shipman: Aaron isn't gay!
Justin Shipman: Oh, so someone just made him become a cheerleader?
Torrance Shipman: He's just busy!
Justin Shipman: Yeah, busy scamming on guys!
Torrance Shipman: Give me that!
[rips out Justin's Nintendo game]
Justin Shipman: Bitch!

Torrance Shipman: Get out of here!
Justin Shipman: Hey, this is the living room, it's public domain!

Cheerleaders: Hey, Toros! / That's right / The red black and white / Guess What / Guess What / You really SUCK!
Torrance Shipman: Hey...
The Toros Squad: That's all right. That's OK! / You're gonna pump our gas someday! / That's all right. That's OK! / You're gonna pump our gas someday!

Cliff: So, second place... how does it feel?
Torrance Shipman: It feels like first.

Torrance Shipman: He's your brother, you don't see him the way I do.
Missy: And that's a good thing because that would be a crime.

Justin Shipman: Hey, I have to tell you something!
Torrance Shipman: I'm on the phone creep!
Justin Shipman: I realize that, and normally I'd be listening on the other line, but this is important.
Torrance Shipman: Okay, what?
Justin Shipman: [farts twice]
Torrance Shipman: Ugh! Get Out!
Justin Shipman: Thank you for listening.

Missy: You ripped off those cheers!
Torrance Shipman: Excuse me, Missy, our cheers are 100 percent original. Count the trophies!
Missy: Well, your trophies are bullshit, and you're a sad ass liar.
Torrance Shipman: All right, that's it! Get out of the car, I'm gonna kick your ass!


Isis: Every time we get some, here y'all come trying to steal it, putting some blonde hair on it and calling it something different. We've had the best squad around for years, but no one's been able to see what we can do. But you better believe, all that's gonna change this year. I'm captain, and I guarantee you we'll make it to Nationals. So just hand over the tape you made tonight, we'll call it even for now.
Torrance Shipman: We don't have any tape.
Missy: Really. We just came to see the show.
Jenelope: What? Come on, Isis! Let me do this!
Isis: You know what? Let's go.
Jenelope: Wait a minute. So that's it? We're just gonna let them go?
Isis: Yeah. Because unlike them, we have class.
Torrance Shipman: I swear I had no idea.
Isis: Well, now you do.
Jenelope: Huh! You been touched by an angel, girl!

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