Toula Portokalos Quotes
Ian Miller: You're that waitress.
Toula Portokalos: Seating hostess, actually.
Any second now he's gonna look at me and say, "You're so not worth this."
Maria Portokalos: We must let Kosta think this was his idea.
Aunt Voula: All right, I know.
Maria Portokalos: That he came up with it.
Aunt Voula: All right.
Toula Portokalos: Ma, he's gonna figure it out.
Maria Portokalos: Don't you worry.
Aunt Voula: Okay, I know what to do you.
Maria Portokalos: You don't know what to do. You talk, talk, talk, all the time!
Aunt Voula: Do you want my help?
Maria Portokalos: Yes, I want your help!
Aunt Voula: Tell me what to say. But don't tell me what to say.
Maria Portokalos: Perfect!
Toula Portokalos: I woke up with this huge zit this morning.
Ian Miller: Where?
Toula Portokalos: [points to spot on face] There.
Ian Miller: I had a huge zit this morning!
Toula Portokalos: Really? Where?
Ian Miller: [points to his face] Well, it was there, but it's gone now.
Toula Portokalos: Why?
Ian Miller: I put some Windex on it.
Gus Portokalos: Where are you going?
Toula Portokalos: I'm taking a pottery class.
Gus Portokalos: Ah! The Greeks invented pottery. Hmph.
Nice Greek girls who don't find a husband, work in the family restaurant. So here I am, day after day, year after year, 30 and way past my expiration date.
I had to go to Greek school, where I learned valuable lessons such as, "If Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry?"
When I was growing up, I knew I was different. The other girls were blonde and delicate, and I was a swarthy six-year-old with sideburns.
Maria Portokalos: Toula, on my wedding night, my mother, she said to me, "Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom."
Toula Portokalos: Eww. Please let that be the end of your speech.
Toula Portokalos: What happened? Biker fight? nose job? What?
Ian Miller: Uh... yeah.
Toula Portokalos: No, really.
Ian Miller: You don't want to know.
Toula Portokalos: Oh I don't know. If I had survived an old lady ass-kicking I would want to brag about it.