Gwen: Is it true this is your seventh year at Coolidge?
Van Wilder: Carry the two, yes that's correct.

Van Wilder: I'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you. I know you were right. Believing for so long.
Sally: Dope song. What's it called?
Van Wilder: Gwen Used Me For Her Story, Then Married an Ass Wipe... and Ran Over My Heart With a Big Metaphorical Truck. Originally performed by Air Supply.

Gwen: What was that girl, a freshman?
Van Wilder: She reads at a sophomore level.

Van Wilder: What's that intoxicating scent you're wearing Doris?
Ms. Doris Haver: I have cats.
Van Wilder: Meow!

We'll be accepting donations in the form of cash, visa, and full frontal nudity.

If Milty Mingleton can shove himself into that weenie bikini, then you don't need to be shy about making your donations to the swim team.

Taj: Doesn't she have a boyfriend?
Van Wilder: Details. Only details.

Hey look. I read the damn article all right. But don't tell anyone because if word gets out that I read my reputation shot to hell.

Dinner for two. Clothing optional.

All this time I thought I was more to you than a flaccid story.

Gwen, good of you to come. Now take off your clothes. It is the naked mile run.

I want you all over that ball like a fat kid on a cupcake!

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