Kevin: Were we just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day?
Finch: No, our generation was definitely more mature.

Ladies, you'd better be working hard - you weren't hired for your looks. Actually you were. Not you.

Steve Stifler

Jim's Dad: I have not had a night like that since the 70s.
Jim: Don't need this.
Jim's Dad: You'd be surprised what you can do with a well-placed thumb.

Steve Stifler: I love the Twilight books. New Moon is my favorite!
Teen Girl: Mine too!
Steve Stifler: Oh my god, it's like, we have so much in common!

Jim's Dad: And who might you be?
Stifler's Mom: I'm Stifler's mom.
Jim's Dad: Oh! I'm Jim's dad...

Let's make this reunion our bitch!

Steve Stifler

Dude it's gonna happen, she's a college chick.

Oz

Vagina shark!

Steve Stifler

Michelle: There um, hasn't been a whole lot of sexy time in the Levenstein household lately.
Selena: Why not?
Michelle: I don't know. I'm a mom now...
Selena: Oh please. Just because your a mom doesn't mean there isn't a whole other side to you.
Michelle: Hey! Remember that one time, at band camp, when we licked whipped cream off each others...
Selena: Yes! Yes, I remember...let's keep that in the past though, okay?

Its the fuzz!!

Jim's Dad

Drink it! Drink it! Drink it!

Steve Stifler

Jim that pan lid is see clear.

Selena

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