Jim's Dad: It's like playing a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game.
Jim: Right.
Jim's Dad: It's not a game.
Jim: No.
Jim's Dad: What you want is a partner to return the ball.

Steve Stifler: I love the Twilight books. New Moon is my favorite!
Teen Girl: Mine too!
Steve Stifler: Oh my god, it's like, we have so much in common!

Jim's Dad: I have not had a night like that since the 70s.
Jim: Don't need this.
Jim's Dad: You'd be surprised what you can do with a well-placed thumb.

She called me and asked for my number.

Steve Stifler

Nadia: [takes off her panties]
Jim: Holy shit.
Garage Band Member, Garage Band Member, Garage Band Member: [together] Holy shit!
Enthusiastic Guy: [enthusiastically] Holy shit!

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