Michelle: There um, hasn't been a whole lot of sexy time in the Levenstein household lately.
Selena: Why not?
Michelle: I don't know. I'm a mom now...
Selena: Oh please. Just because your a mom doesn't mean there isn't a whole other side to you.
Michelle: Hey! Remember that one time, at band camp, when we licked whipped cream off each others...
Selena: Yes! Yes, I remember...let's keep that in the past though, okay?

Vagina shark!

Steve Stifler

Dude it's gonna happen, she's a college chick.

Oz

Let's make this reunion our bitch!

Steve Stifler

Jim's Dad: And who might you be?
Stifler's Mom: I'm Stifler's mom.
Jim's Dad: Oh! I'm Jim's dad...

Ladies, you'd better be working hard - you weren't hired for your looks. Actually you were. Not you.

Steve Stifler

God bless the Internet.

Finch

Kevin: Were we just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day?
Finch: No, our generation was definitely more mature.

She called me and asked for my number.

Steve Stifler

I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking *use* them!

Steve Stifler

I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed.

Jim

You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.

Jim

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