I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive... myself.

Fat Bastard

Mini Me, stop humping the "laser." Honest to God! Why don't you and the giant "laser" get a fricken room for God's sakes?

Dr. Evil

Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?

Dr. Evil

Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later? How do you like to do it? Do you like to wash up first? You know, top and tails... whore's bath? Personally, before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a 'how's your father'!

Alotta Fagina: Some sake, Mr. Cunningham?
Austin Powers: Sake it to me baby!

Austin Powers: Only two things scare me and one of them is nuclear war.
Basil Exposition: What's the other?
Austin Powers: Excuse me?
Basil Exposition: What's the other thing that scares you?
Austin Powers: Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.

[to Goldmember] There are only two things I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.

Nigel Powers

Oooh, Behave!

Goldmember: Dr. Evil, can I paint his yoo-hoo gold? It's kind of my thing, you know.
Dr. Evil: How 'bout no, you crazy Dutch bastard?

Basil Exposition: Austin, the Cold War is over!
Austin Powers: Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh comrades? Eh?
Basil Exposition: Austin... we won.
Austin Powers: Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism!

Austin Powers: Come again?
Alotta Fagina: Alotta Fagina.
Austin Powers: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just not getting it, it sounds like you said your name was a lot of um... never mind!

Scott Evil: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.
Dr. Evil: An evil vet?
Scott Evil: No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.
Dr. Evil: An evil petting zoo?
Scott Evil: You always do that!

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