I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive... myself.

Fat Bastard

Mini Me, stop humping the "laser." Honest to God! Why don't you and the giant "laser" get a fricken room for God's sakes?

Dr. Evil

Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later? How do you like to do it? Do you like to wash up first? You know, top and tails... whore's bath? Personally, before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a 'how's your father'!

Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?

Dr. Evil

Alotta Fagina: Some sake, Mr. Cunningham?
Austin Powers: Sake it to me baby!

Austin Powers: Only two things scare me and one of them is nuclear war.
Basil Exposition: What's the other?
Austin Powers: Excuse me?
Basil Exposition: What's the other thing that scares you?
Austin Powers: Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.

[to Goldmember] There are only two things I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.

Nigel Powers

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my submarine lair. It's long, hard and full of seamen! [silence] No? Nothing? Not even a titter? Tough sub...

Dr. Evil

Are those fricken' sharks with fricken' laser beams attached to their fricken' heads?

Dr. Evil

She's the village bicycle! Everybody's had a ride.

Dr. Evil: The moon unit will be divided into two divisions: Moon Unit Alpha and Moon Unit Zappa.

Basil Exposition: Austin, the Cold War is over!
Austin Powers: Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh comrades? Eh?
Basil Exposition: Austin... we won.
Austin Powers: Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism!

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