Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.
Austin Powers: What's your point, Vanessa?

Steven Spielberg: So, Austin, what did you think of the opening credits?
Austin Powers: Well, I can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg, the grooviest film maker in the history of cinema, is making a movie about my life. Very Shagadelic, baby, yeah!

I've been frozen for 30 years. I've got to see if my bits and pieces are still working.

You know what my favorite Helen Hunt movie is?
[twists his opponent's balls] TWISTER!

Fat Bastard

Austin Powers: Nice to mole you... meet you. Nice to meet you, Mole.
[to Foxxy as Basil & The Mole leave]
Austin Powers: Don't say mole.
Foxxy Cleopatra: Now stop.
Austin Powers: I said mole.
Foxxy Cleopatra: Stop.

While you were in space, I created a way for us to make huge sums of legitimate money, and still maintain the ethics and the business practices of an evil organization. I have turned us into talent agency; the Hollywood Talent Agency.

Number 2

Austin Powers: You're insane, Goldmember.
Goldmember: And THAT'S the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it!
[mutters] KC and the Sunshine Band.

Number 2: Dr. Evil, can you continue with your plan?
Dr. Evil: Of course, Number 2, our plan is SCOTTY DON'T.
Scott Evil: Oh, come on, you're such a lame ass.

Scott Evil: [to Dr. Evil] I hate you.
Scott Evil: [to Austin] I hate you.
Scott Evil: [to Foxxy] I don't even know you, but I hate you too.
Scott Evil: [to Mini-Me] And I ESPECIALLY hate you. [runs away]
Dr. Evil: I'd just like to point out that no one else in my gene pool runs like a girl.

Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H. [Scott snickers] What?
Scott Evil: Why don't you just call it operation ass-cream, you ass.
Dr. Evil: I'm sorry, did you say you want some ice cream?
Scott Evil: Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass-cream.
Dr. Evil: Perhaps later.
Number 2: Dr. Evil, I love your plan.

Austin Powers: Smashing, Basil. A pimp-mobile.
Basil Exposition: Yes, yes. I knew it would tickle YOUR fancy.
Austin Powers: What can I say?

Scott Evil: It's no hassle...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: All I'm say...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: There gonna get a...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm just...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: Would...
Dr. Evil: Sh!... Knock-knock.
Scott Evil: Who's there?
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.

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