Dr. Evil: All right guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism. Close the tank!
Scott Evil: Wait, aren't you even going to watch them? They could get away!
Dr. Evil: No no no, I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?
Scott Evil: I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back down here, BOOM, I'll blow their brains out!
Dr. Evil: Scott, you just don't get it, do ya? You don't.

Well, no offense, but if that is a woman it looks like she was beaten with an ugly stick!

I think you're shagedelic baby! You're switched on! You're smashing! You're shagadelic, baby!

Dr. Evil: Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers
Scott Evil: What? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?
Dr. Evil: I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.

It's freedom, baby, yeah!

There's nothing as pathetic as an aging hipster.

Dr. Evil

Austin Powers: What exactly do you do, Mr. Number Two?
Number Two: That's my business. Now if you'll excuse, I have to go to the little boys' room.

Yeah, and I can't believe Liberace was gay. I mean, women loved him! I didn't see that one coming.

Austin Powers: Come again?
Alotta Fagina: Alotta Fagina.
Austin Powers: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just not getting it, it sounds like you said your name was a lot of um... never mind!

Frau Farbissina: Remember when we froze your semen? You said that if it didn't look like you were coming back we should try to create an heir so a part of you would live forever?
Dr. Evil: Oh sure.
Frau Farbissina: Well, after a couple of years we got a little... impatient. Dr Evil, I would like you to meet your son.
Dr. Evil: My son?
Frau Farbissina: Ja. SCOTT!
[Scott enters]
Dr. Evil: Hello Scott.
Scott Evil: Hi.
Dr. Evil: I'm your father. Dr Evil.
Scott Evil: I haven't seen you my whole life and now you just show up and *expect* a relationship? I hate you. What?
Dr. Evil: Can I have a hug?
Scott Evil: No.
Dr. Evil: Give me a hug.
Scott Evil: No way.

That ain't no woman! It's a man, man!

Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later? How do you like to do it? Do you like to wash up first? You know, top and tails... whore's bath? Personally, before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a 'how's your father'!

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