[sings] From the moment I heard Frau say I had a clone, I knew that I'd be safe cuz I'd never be alone. An evil doctor shouldn't speak aloud about his feelings, my hurt and my pain don't make me too appealing. I'd hoped Scott would look up to me, run the business of the family, head an evil empire just like his dear old dad, give him my love and the things I never had. Scott would think I was a cool guy, return the love I have, make me want to cry, be evil, but have my feelings too, change my life with Oprah and Maya Angelou. But Scott rejected me, c'est la vie, life is cruel, treats you unfairly, even so, a God there must be, Mini Me, you complete me.

Dr. Evil

Scott: Look, I was wondering if we could work all this out? You are, after all, my father.
Dr Evil: Scott, you had your chance, okay? I've already had someone created in my image. He's evil, he wants to take over the world, and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins.
Scott: Him? Look at him, he's crazy. He's like a vicious little Chihuahua thing. He'll kill me the first chance he gets.
Dr Evil: Probably.

I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back ribs. *Chili's* Baby back ribs.

Fat Bastard

Mini Me, stop humping the "laser." Honest to God! Why don't you and the giant "laser" get a fricken room for God's sakes?

Dr. Evil

[to Mini Me] I'm bigger than you and higher up the food chain. Get in my belly.

Fat Bastard

Shut up, you bastard... who is fat...

[to Felicity Shagwell] Would you like to have another go? 'Cause once you've had fat, you never go back.

Fat Bastard

Mini-me, we do not gnaw on the kitty.

Dr. Evil

That's for calling me crap you fatty!

Felicity Shagwell

Austin: Basil, this coffee smells like shit.
Basil: It is shit, Austin.
Austin: Oh, good, then it's not just me.

Mini Me? Mini Me? For God's sake would somone put a fricken bell on him or something.

Dr. Evil

You know, what have we learned here today? Perhaps it's that no one can take your mojo. You can look around all you want, but what you're really trying to find is on the inside. Take care of yourself, and each other.

Jerry Springer

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