The Penguin: You're just jealous, because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!
Batman: You could be right.

Selina Kyle: Did somebody say fish? I haven't be fed all day!
Batman: Eat floor.
[Throws Catwoman down]
Batman: High fiber.

Charles 'Chip' Shreck: Dad, you buy that "blurry" business?
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Women. Nothing surprises me, Chip, except your late mother. Who'd have thought Selina had a brain to damage. Bottom line, she tries to blackmail me, I'll drop her out a higher window. Meantime, I got better fish to fry.

Selina Kyle: Ok, Intimidate me, bully me if it makes you feel big. I mean it's not like you can just kill me...
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Actually, it's a lot like that.

Guard 2: Don't hurt us, lady. Our take-home is less than three-hundred!
Catwoman: You're overpaid.

Volunteer Bimbo: You're the coolest role-model a young person could have!
The Penguin: And you're the hottest young person a role-model could have.

Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Selina! Selina Kyle, you're fired! And Bruce Wayne, why are you dressed up like Batman?
Catwoman: Because he *is* Batman, you moron!
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Was.
[shoots Batman]

Commissioner Gordon: Thanks for the saving the day, Batman. I'm afraid the circus gang is back.
Batman: We'll see.

Selina Kyle: It's gonna be a hot time in a cold town tonight.
Bruce Wayne: You've got sort of a dark side, don't you?
Selina Kyle: No darker than yours, Bruce.

Catwoman: We need to talk. You see, you and I have something in common.
The Penguin: Sounds familiar. Appetite for destruction? Contempt for the czars of fashion? Wait, don't tell me... naked sexual charisma.
Catwoman: Batman. The thorn in both our sides. The fly in our ointment.
The Penguin: Ointment! Scented or unscented?

Alfred: Why are you still up? Are you concerned about that strange, heroic Penguin person?
Batman: I think he knows who his parents are. There's something else.

Catwoman: It's chilly in here.
The Penguin: I'll warm you.

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