Danny Butterman: So what made you want to become a policeman?
Nicholas Angel: Officer.
Danny Butterman: What made you want to become a policeman officer?
Nicholas Angel: I can't remember a time when I didn't want to be a police officer, except for the summer of 1979 when I wanted to be Kermit the frog. I remember when I was five, my uncle Derek bought me a police pedal car. There wasn't a minute of the day I spent out of that car. I went round - arresting kids much bigger than me. I got beaten up a lot, but it didn't stop me.
Danny Butterman: Man, he sounds like a great guy!
Nicholas Angel: Actually he was arrested for selling drugs to students, probably bought the pedal car with the proceeds.
Danny Butterman: What a cunt.
Nicholas Angel: Naturally, I never went near it again. I just left it there in the yard to gather rust. But I never lost the profound sense of right and wrong I felt behind the wheel of that pedal car. And I always wanted to be a police officer, from that moment on.
Danny Butterman: Oh. Shame really...
Nicholas Angel: How so?
Danny Butterman: I think you would have made a great Muppet...

By the power of Greyskull!

Danny Butterman

Jesus Chris

Reverend Philip Shooter

Nicholas Angel: I didn't mean to upset the apple cart.
DS Andy Cartwright: Oh yeah, cause we all sell apples around here, don't we?
Sergeant Turner: You do sell apples don't you?
DS Andy Cartwright: Yeah, and raspberries.

Haven't you ever wondered why the crime rate is so low? But the accident rate is so high?

Nicholas Angel

Ever fired your gun in the air and yelled, 'Aaaaaaah?'

Danny Butterman

Danny Butterman: Point Break or Bad Boys II?
Nicholas Angel: Which one do you think I'll prefer?
Danny Butterman: No, I mean which one do you wanna watch first?

[Looking at a suspicious-looking passerby]
Nicholas Angel: All right, what about this guy? Ask yourself, why has he got his hat pulled down like that?
Danny Butterman: He's fuck-ugly.
Nicholas Angel: Or, he doesn't want you to see his face.
Danny Butterman: Yeah, it's 'cause he's fuck-ugly.

Danny Butterman: What's it like being stabbed?
Nicholas Angel: It was the single most painful experience of my life
Danny Butterman: [nodding] What's the second most painful?

I think you will find me a slasher... of prices!

Simon Skinner

Nicholas Angel: You're a doctor, deal with it!
Danny Butterman: Yeah, motherfucker!

Metropolitan Police Inspector: [darkly] You don't want me to get the Chief Inspector down here do you?
Nicholas Angel: Yes, I would actually.
Metropolitan Police Inspector: Very well.
[to a man by the door]
Metropolitan Police Inspector: Kenneth?

FREE Movie Newsletter