Shaun: It's not that I don't wanna spend time with you, cause I do. It's just... Ed doesn't have too many friends.
Ed: Can I get... any of you cunts... a drink?

Shaun: Don't point that gun at my mum!
Ed: Don't point that gun at Barbara!

Ed: Hey, Shaun, look who it is!
Shaun: FUCK-A-DOODLE-DO!

[after Shaun hits zombie with butt of rifle] Why didn't you just shoot him?

Ed

Shaun: [in concerned tone] Mum, have you been bitten?
Barbara: No, but Philip has.
Shaun: Oh, OK.
Ed: [concerned] Has she been bitten?
Shaun: No, but Phillip has.
Ed: Oh, OK.

David: I'm not staying here.
Liz: David, don't, that's suicide.
Ed: I think he should go.

Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?

Ed

He's not my Dad, he's my stepdad!

Shaun

Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!

Shaun

Ed, this is serious!

Shaun

Barbara: [Over the phone] Some men tried to get into the house.
Shaun: Well are they still there?
Barbara: [Over the phone] I'm not sure, we've shut the curtains.

Shaun: [hands Liz flowers] Got you these.
Liz: [Liz reads label] "To a wonderful mum"?
Shaun: [sniggers] Oooh! Yeah, that's, because... I thought, it would be, funny, because of what you said last night about me y'know, don't wanna be my mum and that. It's just a little joke, just sort of spur of the moment...
Liz: [long pause] They're for your mum, aren't they?
Shaun: Yeah.
Liz: Smooth.

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