Ed: Big Al says so.
Shaun: Yeah, but Big Al says dogs can't look up!

Shaun: David, kill the Queen!
David: What?
Shaun: The jukebox!

Look, I don't care what the telly says, all right? We *have* to get out of here. If we don't they'll tear us to pieces, and that is really going to exacerbate things for all of us.

Shaun

Ed: Whoa, mama!
Shaun: Christ! What the hell do you think you're doing?
Ed: Chill out. Everyone's all right.
Shaun: Stop telling me to chill out!

Liz: You left them at my place.
Shaun: Yeah, in the bin!
Liz: I was desperate.
Shaun: Sneaky monkey...

David: You still haven't met his mum?
Shaun: Not yet!
Philip: Don't you get on with your mum, Shaun?
Shaun: It's not that I don't get on with her...
David: Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun?
Shaun: No! I love my mum!
Ed: I love his mum too.
Shaun: Ed!
Ed: [singing] She's like butter!
Shaun: Ed!

Shaun: Who the hell put this on?
Ed: It's on random.
Liz: For fuck's sake!

Liz: It's just that with Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flatmates out, and then that only exacerbates things.
Shaun: What you mean?
Liz: Well, you guys hardly get on, do you?
Shaun: No... what does 'exacerbate' mean?

Shaun: Philip, have you still got the child-locks on?
Philip: Safety first, Shaun.

Shaun: [about Ed] Oh, he's sold a bit of weed now and then. You've sold pot.
Pete: Yeah. Once. In college. To you.

Shaun: [hands Liz flowers] Got you these.
Liz: [Liz reads label] "To a wonderful mum"?
Shaun: [sniggers] Oooh! Yeah, that's, because... I thought, it would be, funny, because of what you said last night about me y'know, don't wanna be my mum and that. It's just a little joke, just sort of spur of the moment...
Liz: [long pause] They're for your mum, aren't they?
Shaun: Yeah.
Liz: Smooth.

Barbara: [Over the phone] Some men tried to get into the house.
Shaun: Well are they still there?
Barbara: [Over the phone] I'm not sure, we've shut the curtains.

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