Listening to this is like having a pine cone shoved up my ass!

Matt Farrell

Hans Gruber: You an American?
John McClane: Only if New Jersey counts.

[over the CB] All right, listen up guys. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.


Supervisor: Attention, whoever you are. This channel is reserved for emergency calls only...
John McClane: No fucking shit, lady. Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?

I can't talk to him, you talk to him.

Thomas Gabriel

Zeus: Excuse me, I need to use that phone.
Businessman: Use the other one.
Zeus: Sir, please. I need to use that phone.
Businessman: Hey, listen, bro, I was here first.
Zeus: Bro? Get away from the goddamn phone!

Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mister Cowboy?
John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

Greg: On your tombstone it will say always in the wrong place at the wrong time.
John McClane: How about Yippie-ki-yay motherfucker?

John McClane: Freddy, can you trace these guys?
Greg: Mr. McClane, covering the camera does not turn off the microphone.

Lucy McClane: Daddy, you're out of your mind.
John McClane: What are you talkin' about?
Lucy McClane: You shot yourself!
John McClane: It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Mai? Asian chick? Likes to kick people? Yeah, last time I saw her, she was at the bottom of an elevator shaft with an SUV up her ass.

John McClane

Happy trails, Hans.

John McClane

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