Chili Palmer: [gets up]
Tommy Athens: Hey, wait. Where are you going?
Chili Palmer: I'm going to the men's. I just had two ice teas.
Tommy Athens: Hey, Chil. How does the movie sound?
Chili Palmer: Well, you don't have a movie yet. You have a setting and a premise. But you don't have character arcs or a plot
Tommy Athens: [while Chili is going to the restroom] Hey, who will play me? Think about that.
Chili Palmer: [turns around] What about Carrot Top?

Chili Palmer: How many miles to the gallon to you get on those Hummers, about 12?
Dabu: Nine.
Sin LaSalle: Dabu! Thank you, Mr. Goodwrench.

[Sin LaSalle and the DubMD's are standing in front of Chili Palmer's Insight]
Sin LaSalle: Well, imagine the odds, me and my crew was just out getting' some Mongolian barbecue and we stumble across your ol' weak ass ride.
Chili Palmer: Did you leave any food in Mongolia?

Chili Palmer: [after seeing Raji in a Mink covered coat and hat] Well, if it isn't Flea Diddy.
Raji: Man, don't be comin' in here pretendin' you know anything about rap.
Chili Palmer: Oh, but I know more about rap than you do. I bet you don't even know who the Sugarhill Gang is.
Raji: But, I know who the Bust Da Cap In Yo Ass Gang is.

Next time you come to my house to kill me, make sure I'm home first!

Chili Palmer

Mad respect for not giving respect. I feel you.

Raji

Nice ass won't get you through your whole life. Once you turn thirty you better have a personality.

Raji

You don't even have to say it, I already know... Don't give me no damn gun! You know what I'm gonna do with it!

Dabu

Sin LaSalle: Have you lost your mind? I mean, how is it that you can disrespect a mans ethnicity when you know we've influenced nearly every facet of white America... from our music to our style of dress. Not to mention your basic imitation of our sense of cool; walk, talk, dress, mannerisms... we enrich your very existence, all the while contributing to the gross national product through our achievements in corporate America. It's these conceits that comfort me when I am faced with the ignorant, cowardly, bitter and bigoted, who *have* no talent, no guts? people like you who desecrate things they don't understand when the truth is - you should say thank-you, man? and go on about your way. But apparently you are incapable of doing that! So...
[shoots his gun]
Sin LaSalle: ... and don't tell me to be cool. I *am* cool!

Fast Freddie: Who are all these people trying to kill you?
Chili Palmer: I don't know. I'm in the music business now. It could be anybody.

Elliot Wilhelm: When are you going to call me?
Chili Palmer: When your phone rings.

Chili Palmer: Do you know that you are willing to say the R rating, you have to say the "f" word once?
Tommy Athens: You're kidding me.
Chili Palmer: Yeah. You know what I say? Fuck that. I'm done.

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