Karen Flores: Weren't you scared back there?
Chili Palmer: You bet.
Karen Flores: You don't act like it.
Chili Palmer: Well, I was scared then, but I'm not scared now. How long do you want me to be scared?

Chili Palmer: What is that?
Rental Car Attendant: It's an Oldsmobile Silhouette.
Chili Palmer: I ordered a Cadillac.
Rental Car Attendant: Oh, well, you got the Cadillac of minivans.

Harry Zimm: I said I'd think about it. In this town, what does that mean? Nothing!
Chili Palmer: Well, that's the difference between you and me, Harry. I say what I mean. I want Martin Weir? I go out and get Martin Weir. I don't fuck around with this bullshit with the trainer's shrink.

Chili Palmer: Martin, look at me.
Martin Weir: I'm looking at you
Chili Palmer: No, look at me the way I'm looking at you.

Chili Palmer: Hey, Karen, how you doing?
Karen Flores: What are you doing here?
Chili Palmer: Listen, I wanted to come by and apologize for breaking in the way I did last night.
Karen Flores: So, let me get this straight. You broke in again to apologize for breaking in before?
Chili Palmer: No, no. Your patio door was open. And you shouldn't do that because you got a lot of nice things in this house.
Karen Flores: Well, make sure you lock it on your way out.

Chili Palmer: How did you get in here?
Ray Bones: It was easy. I told 'em I was you, I acted real stupid and they believed me.

Martin: And I'm wondering: how did it all slip away?
Karen: Well, it didn't slip away, Martin. You did, when you went off to fuck Nicky at my birthday party.
Martin: Yeah, that was a good party.

Nicky: How's Momo these days anyway?
Chili Palmer: Dead.

Leo: But you won't know where I am. I mean, I don't even know where I'll be!
Chili Palmer: I'll find you, Leo. You leave a trail like a fucking caterpillar.

Chili Palmer: Leo, sit down. I don't know how you got this far, you're so fucking dumb. But you're through now, and let me explain why. Ray Bones is the man that you're dealing with now, and when Bones finds out what you did, he's gonna take everything, including the sporty little hat you got on your head. And then most likely he'll shoot you, so you won't tell on him. Now, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna hurt you. Now you got three hundred and ten thousand in the bag here. I'm gonna take the three hundred thousand that you scammed from the airline, and then the ten that's left over, I'm gonna borrow from you and pay back at another time.
Leo: Wait, you take all my money, but you're borrowing part of it?
Chili Palmer: At eighteen percent. Now don't ask another fucking question, I'm leaving.

Bo Catlett: It says here you're getting Martin Weir for the part of Lovejoy?
Chili Palmer: That's right, we're getting Martin.
Bo Catlett: Come on, how you gonna do that?
Chili Palmer: I'm gonna take a gun, I'm gonna put it to his head, and say, "sign the fucking papers, Martin, or you're dead." That's it.
Bo Catlett: I wonder, would that work?

Linda Moon: That's my manager, Roger.
Chili Palmer: He talks like that?
Linda Moon: He thinks he's black.

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