Bo Catlett: It says here you're getting Martin Weir for the part of Lovejoy?
Chili Palmer: That's right, we're getting Martin.
Bo Catlett: Come on, how you gonna do that?
Chili Palmer: I'm gonna take a gun, I'm gonna put it to his head, and say, "sign the fucking papers, Martin, or you're dead." That's it.
Bo Catlett: I wonder, would that work?

Linda Moon: That's my manager, Roger.
Chili Palmer: He talks like that?
Linda Moon: He thinks he's black.

Chili Palmer: [about a Honda Insight] It's the Cadillac of hybrids.
Martin Weir: But what about speed?
Chili Palmer: If you're important, people will wait.

Dabu: What's up, dawg?
Sin LaSalle: Must you play into the stereotypes? Turn that mess down. This is the suburbs. I'm in that damn neighborhood watch!

I'm not one of those singers who appears in movies!

Steven Tyler

Chili Palmer: Do you know that you are willing to say the R rating, you have to say the "f" word once?
Tommy Athens: You're kidding me.
Chili Palmer: Yeah. You know what I say? Fuck that. I'm done.

Elliot Wilhelm: When are you going to call me?
Chili Palmer: When your phone rings.

Fast Freddie: Who are all these people trying to kill you?
Chili Palmer: I don't know. I'm in the music business now. It could be anybody.

Sin LaSalle: Have you lost your mind? I mean, how is it that you can disrespect a mans ethnicity when you know we've influenced nearly every facet of white America... from our music to our style of dress. Not to mention your basic imitation of our sense of cool; walk, talk, dress, mannerisms... we enrich your very existence, all the while contributing to the gross national product through our achievements in corporate America. It's these conceits that comfort me when I am faced with the ignorant, cowardly, bitter and bigoted, who *have* no talent, no guts? people like you who desecrate things they don't understand when the truth is - you should say thank-you, man? and go on about your way. But apparently you are incapable of doing that! So...
[shoots his gun]
Sin LaSalle: ... and don't tell me to be cool. I *am* cool!

You don't even have to say it, I already know... Don't give me no damn gun! You know what I'm gonna do with it!

Dabu

Mad respect for not giving respect. I feel you.

Raji

Next time you come to my house to kill me, make sure I'm home first!

Chili Palmer

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