Professor Snape: Which one of you can tell me the difference between an animagus and a werewolf?
[Hermione raises her hand]
Professor Snape: No-one? How disappointing.

Harry Potter: First we need to find a place to practise that Umbridge won't find out.
Ginny Weasley: The Shrieking Shack?
Harry Potter: That's too small.
Hermione Granger: The Forbidden Forest?
Ron Weasley: Not bloody likely!
Ginny Weasley: Harry, what happens if Umbridge does find out?
Hermione Granger: Who cares... I mean it's sort of exciting isn't it... breaking the rules.
Ron Weasley: Who are you and what have you done with Hermione Granger?

Things at Hogwarts are far worse than I feared!

Dolores Umbridge

Harry: You're running away? After all that stuff you did in your books?
Gilderoy Lockhart: Books can be misleading...
Harry: You wrote them!
Gilderoy Lockhart: My dear boy, do use your common sense! My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think *I'd* done all those things!

A pity they let the old punishment die... Was a time detention found you hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons... God, I miss the screaming.

Caretaker Argus Filch

Professor Snape: [taps the blank Marauder's Map with his wand] Reveal your secrets.
[writing appears on the map]
Professor Snape: Read it.
Harry: "Messrs. Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, offer their compliments to Professor Snape and..."
Professor Snape: Go on.
Harry: "... and request that he keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."

Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?

Ron

Cornelius Fudge: Now write your name only.
Dumbledore: It's quite a long name.

Harry, feel free to treat yourself to a licorice snap. But be careful, they're a wee bit sharp.

Dumbledore

Dumbledore: A word of caution: dementors are vicious creatures. They will not distinguish between the one they hunt and the one who gets in their way. Therefore I must warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. It's not in the nature of a dementor to be forgiving. But you know happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light.

It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.

Dumbledore

Harry: "Come seek us where our voices sound/we cannot sing above the ground...?
Hermione: The Black Lake, that's obvious.
Harry: "An hour long you'll have to look...?
Hermione: Again, obvious. Though admittedly potentially problematic...
Harry: "Potentially problematic"? When was the last time that you had to hold your breath underwater for an hour, Hermione?

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