Elle: You're beaking up with me because I'm too... blonde?
Warner Huntington III: Well, no. That's not entirely true...
Elle: Then what? My boobs are too big?

Elle: Don't ask.
Emmett: Wasn't gonna.

Paulette: Is she as pretty as you?
Elle: She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she's not completely... unfortunate looking.

Professor Callahan: Do you think she woke up one morning and said: I think I'll go to law school today.

Elle's Mother: Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the "Miss Hawaiian Tropic" contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?
Elle: Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back.
Elle's Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.

So what's a girl to do? He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass.

Paulette

The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.

Elle

Brooke: You know a Delta Nu would never sleep with a man who wears a thong.
Elle: Never!
Brooke: I just liked to watch him change the filter.

There's nothing I love better than a dumb blonde with Daddy's plastic.

Boutique Saleswoman

I would rather go to jail than lose my reputation.

Brooke

Elle: It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin... to generic. All those opposed to chafing, please say "Aye."
Entire Sorority Group: Aye!

Isn't it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you are forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thioglycolate?

Elle

FREE Movie Newsletter