And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.

Elle

Brooke: You know a Delta Nu would never sleep with a man who wears a thong.
Elle: Never!
Brooke: I just liked to watch him change the filter.

Paulette: Is she as pretty as you?
Elle: She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she's not completely... unfortunate looking.

Elle: Don't ask.
Emmett: Wasn't gonna.

Professor Callahan: Do you think she woke up one morning and said: I think I'll go to law school today.

So what's a girl to do? He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass.

Paulette

Elle's Mother: Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the "Miss Hawaiian Tropic" contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?
Elle: Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back.
Elle's Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.

Emmett: You know what I thought when I first met you?
Elle: God, that woman wears a lot of pink?

There's nothing I love better than a dumb blonde with Daddy's plastic.

Boutique Saleswoman

Isn't it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you are forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thioglycolate?

Elle

Warner Huntington III: You got into Harvard Law?
Elle: What? Like, it's hard?

Elle: Excuse me. [slaps David] Why didn't you call me? We spent a beautiful night together and I haven't heard from you since.
David: I'm sorry?
Elle: Sorry for what? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I've ever known and just taking it away?
David: Both?
Elle: Well, forget it. I've spent too much time crying over you. [leaves]
Girl: [to David] So, when did you wanna go out?

FREE Movie Newsletter