So what's this Vivian got that you don't have? Three tits?

Paulette

Elle: Excuse me. [slaps David] Why didn't you call me? We spent a beautiful night together and I haven't heard from you since.
David: I'm sorry?
Elle: Sorry for what? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I've ever known and just taking it away?
David: Both?
Elle: Well, forget it. I've spent too much time crying over you. [leaves]
Girl: [to David] So, when did you wanna go out?

Elle: Oh my God.
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: Oh my God.
Brooke: Oh my God.
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: Bailiff, take the witness into custody, where she will be charged for the murder of Joseph Windham. Case dismissed. Mrs. Windham, you are free to go.
Brooke: Thank you, your honor.

Elle: And wouldn't somebody who had, say, 30 perms before in their life be well aware of this rule, and if in fact you weren't washing your hair as I suspect you weren't because your curls are still intact, wouldn't you have heard the gunshot, and if in fact you had heard the gunshot Brooke Windham wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which means you would have had to found Brooke Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn't that right?
Chutney Windham: She's my age! Did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age?
Elle: You, however, Chutney had time to hide the gun after you shot your father.
Chutney Windham: [in tears] I didn't mean to shoot him!

Emmett: I can't believe you just called me a butthead. I don't think anybody has called me a butthead since the 9th grade.
Elle: Maybe not to your face.

Let the blood bath begin.

Professor Callahan

Isn't it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you are forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thioglycolate?

Elle

Elle: This is what I need to become.
Old Lady at Manicurist: What? Practically deformed?
Elle: No, a law student.

Elle: I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life.
[some dude whistles at her]
Elle: I object!

Because I'm not a Vanderbilt, suddenly I'm white trash? I grew up in Bel Air, Warner. Across the street from Aaron Spelling. I think most people would agree that's a lot better than some stinky old Vanderbilt.

Elle

Warner Huntington III: You got into Harvard Law?
Elle: What? Like, it's hard?

If I want to be a Senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.

Warner Huntington III

FREE Movie Newsletter