The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.

Elle

I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't.

Elle

Vivian: Nice outfit.
Elle: Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.

Hi. I'm Elle Woods and this is Bruiser Woods. We're both Gemini vegetarians.

Elle

There's nothing I love better than a dumb blonde with Daddy's plastic.

Boutique Saleswoman

Elle: I'm reading about the LSAT's
Serena: My cousin had that once. Apparently you get a really bad rash on your...

Elle: I don't need back-ups. I'm going to Harvard.
C.U.L.A. Advisor: Well then, you'll need excellent recommendations from your professors.
Elle: Okay.
C.U.L.A. Advisor: And a heck of an admissions essay.
Elle: Right.
C.U.L.A. Advisor: And at least a 175 on your LSATs.
Elle: I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle anything.

Elle's Mother: Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the "Miss Hawaiian Tropic" contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?
Elle: Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back.
Elle's Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.

Brooke: You know a Delta Nu would never sleep with a man who wears a thong.
Elle: Never!
Brooke: I just liked to watch him change the filter.

If I want to be a Senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.

Warner Huntington III

Elle: Did you see him? He's probably still scratching his head.
Paulette: Yeah, which must be a nice vacation for his balls.

Elle: I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life.
[some dude whistles at her]
Elle: I object!

FREE Movie Newsletter