Jack Byrnes: Are you still physically attracted to my daughter, Greg?
Greg Focker: Pam? Are you kidding... yes, yes Jack, there's never been a problem with that.
Jack Byrnes: Even after her body has endured the hellish ordeal of birthing twins?
Greg Focker: Yes, even after that, it's all good, it's all good under the hood.
Jack Byrnes: That's disgusting.

Prudence (Laura Dern): You see like a wonderful couple.
Jack Byrnes: No, no, no, we're not homosexual.
Greg Focker: Yeah, no.
Jack Brynes: No, no, no, this is my son in law.
Prudence: Oh...
Greg Focker: Yeah no. However, if you're looking to fill a quota, we can be flexible.
Prudence: Okay, that's an interesting joke but I appreciate levity in a moment of misunderstanding so thank you Greg.

Greg, are you prepared to be... the Godfocker?

Jack Byrnes

Jack Byrnes: I like few minutes alone with him just to erase what he saw from his memory.
Greg Focker: No, you're not gonna erase my son's memory.

I am so excited to see those little Fockers!

Pam Byrnes

Greg Focker: Hey whats the good word grandpa Jack?
Jack Byrnes: This is Jack Byrnes
Greg Focker: Yeah I know, I can tell from the caller ID.

I have eyes too, so I'll be watching you... watching me.

Greg Focker

Are you so sure you have what it take to be the God Focker? Because I am watching you.

Jack Byrnes

If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown flush it down... Oops, looks like I forgot my own rule
[flushes the toilet]

Bernie Focker

Roz Focker: Tell me, what's going on with that man of yours?
Dina Byrnes: Well, Jack's always been a little wound up. His job is very stressful.
Roz Focker: Being a florist is stressful?
Dina Byrnes: There's more to it than people think.

Dina Byrnes: [after Bernie has destroyed Jack's toilet to save Moses] Jack, he was just trying to save his pet. I mean, what if it had been Jinx who fell in the toilet?
Jack Byrnes: [matter-of-factly] Mr. Jinx has had extensive aquatic training. He would have known exactly what to have done in a submergion.

Bernie Focker: At least I'm comfortable enough in my skin to cook for my family. Tell me when was the last time you gave your wife breakfast in bed? When was the last time you gave her anything in bed?
Jack Byrnes: Now you're outta line Focker.
Bernie Focker: No man you are outta line. You hurt my feelings there. There's no reason to hurt my feelings.
[looks at Greg and points to Jack]
Bernie Focker: He insulted me.

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