Roz Focker: Yeah, and now it's up to 50 Fockers.
Jack Byrnes: 50 Fockers. What could be better?

Bernie Focker: At least I'm comfortable enough in my skin to cook for my family. Tell me when was the last time you gave your wife breakfast in bed? When was the last time you gave her anything in bed?
Jack Byrnes: Now you're outta line Focker.
Bernie Focker: No man you are outta line. You hurt my feelings there. There's no reason to hurt my feelings.
[looks at Greg and points to Jack]
Bernie Focker: He insulted me.

Dina Byrnes: [after Bernie has destroyed Jack's toilet to save Moses] Jack, he was just trying to save his pet. I mean, what if it had been Jinx who fell in the toilet?
Jack Byrnes: [matter-of-factly] Mr. Jinx has had extensive aquatic training. He would have known exactly what to have done in a submergion.

Roz Focker: Tell me, what's going on with that man of yours?
Dina Byrnes: Well, Jack's always been a little wound up. His job is very stressful.
Roz Focker: Being a florist is stressful?
Dina Byrnes: There's more to it than people think.

If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown flush it down... Oops, looks like I forgot my own rule
[flushes the toilet]

Bernie Focker

Are you a pothead, Focker?

Jack Byrnes

I have eyes too, so I'll be watching you... watching me.

Greg Focker

Greg Focker: Hey whats the good word grandpa Jack?
Jack Byrnes: This is Jack Byrnes
Greg Focker: Yeah I know, I can tell from the caller ID.

I am so excited to see those little Fockers!

Pam Byrnes

Jack Byrnes: I like few minutes alone with him just to erase what he saw from his memory.
Greg Focker: No, you're not gonna erase my son's memory.

Are you so sure you have what it take to be the God Focker? Because I am watching you.

Jack Byrnes

Jack Byrnes: "My Mother", by Jack Byrnes. You gave me life, / You gave me milk, / You gave me courage. / Your name was Angela, / An angel from Heaven, / But you were also an angel of God, / And he needed you, too. / I selfishly tried to hold on to you, / While the cancer ate away at your organs, / Like an unstoppable rebel force, / And now we'll meet in Heaven, / And I shall see you / Nevermore, nevermore, nevermore.
Pam Byrnes: Dad, that's beautiful.
Greg Focker: That's amazing, so much love, and also so much information.

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