Turk Malloy: Watch it, bud.
Virgil Malloy: Who you calling bud, pal?
Turk Malloy: Who you calling pal, friend?
Virgil Malloy: Who you calling friend, jackass?
Turk Malloy: Don't call me a jackass.
Virgil Malloy: I just did call you a jackass.

Rusty Ryan: Look, it's not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why.
Linus Caldwell: [sarcastically] Ooooooooooh.

Tess: You're a thief and a liar.
Danny: I only lied about being a thief, I don't do that anymore.
Tess: Steal?
Danny: Lie.
Tess: I'm with someone who doesn't have to make that kind of distinction.
Danny: No, he's very clear on both.

Rusty: God, I'm bored!
Danny: You look bored.
Rusty: I am bored!
Rusty: How was the clink? You get the cookies I sent?
Danny: Why do you think I came to see you first?

Rusty: You scared?
Linus: You suicidal?
Rusty: Only in the morning.

Rusty: I hope you were the Groom.
Danny: Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back.

Tess Ocean: This is just wrong.
Linus Caldwell: You mean like... morally?
Tess Ocean: Well... yeah I guess.

[watching "Happy Days" in Italian] That guy doing Potsie is unbelievable.

Danny Ocean

[after Linus complains] Are you hosting a telethon we don't know about?

Reuben Tishkoff

Danny: Which one is the amazing Yen?
Rusty: He's the little Chinese guy.

Turk Malloy: Are you in yet?
Virgil Malloy: I hate that question

Rusty: [to Linus] You look down, they know you're lying. Up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances...
Livingston: Rus?
Rusty: Yeah?
Livingston: Come look at this?
Rusty: Sure. [leaves]

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