Turk Malloy: Watch it, bud.
Virgil Malloy: Who you calling bud, pal?
Turk Malloy: Who you calling pal, friend?
Virgil Malloy: Who you calling friend, jackass?
Turk Malloy: Don't call me a jackass.
Virgil Malloy: I just did call you a jackass.

Rusty Ryan: Look, it's not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why.
Linus Caldwell: [sarcastically] Ooooooooooh.

[watching "Happy Days" in Italian] That guy doing Potsie is unbelievable.

Danny Ocean

Rusty: You scared?
Linus: You suicidal?
Rusty: Only in the morning.

Rusty: I hope you were the Groom.
Danny: Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back.

There's water in the basement, and the pilot light is out.

Tess Ocean

If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Halloween would fall on the same date.

Danny Ocean

Window or aisle, boys? Yeah, we're in deep shit!

Basher

Tess: You're a thief and a liar.
Danny: I only lied about being a thief, I don't do that anymore.
Tess: Steal?
Danny: Lie.
Tess: I'm with someone who doesn't have to make that kind of distinction.
Danny: No, he's very clear on both.

Turk Malloy: Hell in a hand-basket?
Linus Caldwell: No, we... can't train a cat that quickly. And...
Turk Malloy, Linus Caldwell, Basher Tarr: [together] Not enough people!

Parole Board Member #1: Mr. Ocean, the purpose of this hearing is to determine, whether, if released, you are likely to break the law again. While this was your first conviction, you have been implicated, though never charged, in over a dozen other confidence tricks and frauds. What can you tell us about those?
Danny: As you say, ma'am, I was never charged.
Parole Board Member #2: Mr. Ocean, what we're trying to find out is was there a reason you chose to commit this crime, or was there a reason you simply got caught this time.
Danny: My wife left me. I was upset. I fell into a self-destructive pattern.
Parole Board Member #3: If released, is it likely you'd fall back into a similar pattern?
Danny: She already left me once. I don't think she'd do it again just for kicks.

Danny: You gotta walk before you crawl.
Rusty: Reverse that.

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