You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you?

Jack Sparrow

Elizabeth Swann: It would never have worked out between us.
Jack Sparrow: Keep telling yourself that, darling.

Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.

Jack Sparrow

[Giselle and Scarlett are fighting]
Jack Sparrow: Ladies! Will you please shut it? Listen to me. Yes, I lied to you. No, I don't love you. Of course it makes you look fat. I've never been to Brussels. It is pronounced "egregious". By the way, no, I've never met Pizzaro but I love his pies. And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy?
[Giselle slaps Jack]
Jack Sparrow: [Scarlett slaps Jack]

Jack Sparrow: [to Weatherby Swann] I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
Jack Sparrow: I want you to know that I was rooting for you. Know that.

Will Turner: This is either madness... or brilliance.
Jack Sparrow: It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.

If you had a sister and a dog, I'd choose the dog.

Captain Jack Sparrow

Jack Sparrow: You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?
Will Turner: I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.

Jack Sparrow: [after Will draws his sword] Put it away, son. It's not worth you getting beat again.
Will Turner: You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.
Jack Sparrow: That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?

Davy Jones: Ha ha... Lookie here boys. The lost bird. A lost bird that never learned to fly.
Jack Sparrow: To my great regret. But, it's never too late to learn!

Did everyone see that? Because I will *not* be doing it again.

Captain Jack Sparrow

Now where is that monkey? I want to shoot something!

Jack Sparrow

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