James Carter: Who died, Lee?
Lee: You!
James Carter: Detective Yu?
Lee: Not Yu, you!
James Carter: Who?
Lee: You!
James Carter: Who?
Lee: Do you understand the words that are a-coming out of my mouth?
James Carter: Don't nobody understand the words that are comin' out of your mouth

[during a fight scene with a bunch of Chinese men]
James Carter: [after accidentally punching Lee] Sorry, man!
Lee: Carter!
James Carter: All y'all look alike!

James Carter: Lee, let me introduce you to Carter's new theory of criminal investigation: follow the rich white man.
Lee: Follow the rich white man?
James Carter: Behind every big crime there's a rich white man waiting for his cut.

James Carter: Couldn't help noticin' how she was staring at a brother.
Lee: She never even look at you.
James Carter: You just jealous, Lee, 'cause women like me. I'm tall, dark and hansome and you third world ugly.
Lee: I am not third world ugly, women think I'm cute. Like Snoopy.
James Carter: Lee, Snoopy is 6 inches taller than you.

You know, we could have been a good couple. We could have had something special. But you one crazy-ass bitch!

James Carter

I will bitch-slap you back to Africa.


All right, listen up! All the Triads and the ugly women on this side, and all the fine women on this side, right now!

James Carter

James Carter: Secret Service Agent James Carter, I like the sound of it. Won't be long before I'm in Washington D.C. protectin' the President.
Lee: We both know you wouldn't take a bullet for someone else.
James Carter: Yeah but they don't know that.

James Carter: Just tell me how the Triads gonna kill us.
Lee: They will torture us for three days.
James Carter: Okay, I can handle that.
Lee: Then they will cut off our eggrolls.
James Carter: Cut off our eggrolls? Oh hell no! We gotta get out of here! Don't give up!

Lee: Stop, I'm sick of your bullshit.
James Carter: And I'm sick of you! I'm not the one running up in Karaoke bars full of gangsters. And I'm not the one running up in massage parlors looking for crime lords.

Lee: Carter, you don't understand.
James Carter: Oh I understand, man. I got knocked off a building, I got beat on, I got stripped butt-naked and you held out on me. I'm outta here.

Lee: These men are Triads. The most deadly gang in China.
James Carter: You think they scare me? I'm from Los Angeles, man. We invented gangs!

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