Chon Wang: What do you see?
Roy: He just pulled a fancy dragon key out of his desk.
Chon Wang: That was my father's! I must avenge his honor.
Roy: Slow down, Tiger. Slow down. Quit going all Chinese on me.

Chon Wang: Roy! The painting! It's looking at me!
Roy: Oh yeah, it looks like it's looking at me too. That's great.

She's gonna fight my battles for me.

Roy

Chon Wang: Roy! There you are. Need anything, buddy?
Roy: A whole lot of "leave me alone."

Father, is this my husband-to-be? He's a toad. If the Emperor is so fond of him, why doesn't he marry him?

Princess Pei Pei

Doyle: It's hopeless. We'll never get past the guards.
Roy: Well, not with that attitude, we won't.

Roy: Lord, help me. Just let me know you're there. Love me, hate me, but let me know you're up there.
[pause]
Roy: Hey, I can see our hotel from here. Wow.

Roy, you're about to die. You're on the minute hand of a clock. My life is flashing before my eyes. Wait a minute. I don't remember her.

Roy

Roy: Well, what's in it for you?
Lord Rathbone: Your looking at the future king of England.
Roy: You're, like, 20th line to the throne.
Lord Rathbone: 10th. But my friend here is about to change all that.

[to Nelson] No matter how far you are from the throne, you'll always be number one in our hearts.

Doyle

We come from America. You might have heard of it? We run your jerkwatter country.

Roy

So what are we gonna do? Come on, think! I'm not going to an English prison. With my feathery blond hair and Chon's athletic build, they'll try to make us the bell of the ball.

Roy

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