Chon Wang: You gave me bad directions!
Roy O'Bannon: No, I gave you wrong directions.
[Holds up Chon's chopsticks]
Roy O'Bannon: Want your toothpicks back?

Fight with honor. You will win.

Chon Wang

[Looking at the bullet holes in his robe] It's a miracle. I am invincible. Roy! Invincible!

Roy O'Bannon

Holy crap, the vultures are eating my head!

Roy O'Bannon

Now I'm gonna have to get rid of my outlaw name, it just won't work anymore. My real name's Wyatt Earp.

Roy O'Bannon

Roy O'Bannon: I feel like there's this gap between us. It's like I'm a cowboy, you're an Indian. You say wampum, I say money. It is so important, I just think that...
Falling Leaves: [kisses Roy] Shut up, Roy. You talk too much.

Imperial Guard: Chon Wang!
Roy O'Bannon: That's right, Johnny Wayne's here.

Roy O'Bannon: Yes, John, I've heard all about the Emperor. Must be one hell of a man.
Chon Wang: He's only twelve.
Roy O'Bannon: Are you kidding me? You're sitting here, waiting to die for someone whose balls haven't even dropped?

Roy O'Bannon: First time you ever see an outlaw?
[Pretty victim nods]
Roy O'Bannon: Scared? Kind of excited, too? All mixed up? Yeah. Last train we robbed we were naked it was so hot out.

Let me put it this way. My horse is definitely not my best friend.

Roy O'Bannon

Don't worry, it could be worse - he could be a white guy.

Medicine Man

Father, is this my husband-to-be? He's a toad. If the Emperor is so fond of him, why doesn't he marry him?

Princess Pei Pei

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