Chon Wang: Roy! The painting! It's looking at me!
Roy: Oh yeah, it looks like it's looking at me too. That's great.
Chon Wang: What do you see?
Roy: He just pulled a fancy dragon key out of his desk.
Chon Wang: That was my father's! I must avenge his honor.
Roy: Slow down, Tiger. Slow down. Quit going all Chinese on me.
Once, I sent him over the Great Wall. He was lost for three days!Chon Lin
Roy: I'm guessing by your hasty retreat, that you're still 20th in line for the throne.
Lord Rathbone: [irritated] 10th!
Roy: There's this new thing they're starting out in California: moving pictures. There's no sound, so we won't have to worry about the language problem, and I think the kung fu stuff could be huge! People are dying for a good action flick.
Chon Wang: Chon Wang...
[sounds like "John Wayne"]
Chon Wang: ...movie star? It could work.
Chon Wang: If you break her heart, I break your legs.
Roy: That's fair.
Hey, Chon, you're lucky I didn't invest in that ridiculous "auto-mobile" idea. Yeah, that's gonna make a lot of money.Roy
I'm a thirty year old waiter/gigolo. Where's the future in that?Roy
I see a lot of myself in that kid. It's kinda freakin' me out.Roy
And just to set the record straight... Roy O'Bannon is not attracted to loose women; loose women are attracted to me.Roy
Roy: So what did your dad do? Was he an imperial guard?
Chon Wang: No, much more important. He was the Keeper of the Imperial Seal.
Roy: That's what I love about China. Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool!
Chon Wang: I look like a fool.
Roy: What? You're a Maharajah! That's Indian royalty!
Chon Wang: But I'm Chinese.
Roy: It's the same thing.