Prince Charming: You! You can't lie! Where is Shrek?
Pinocchio: Well, uh, I don't know where he's not.
Prince Charming: You don't know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: On the contrary.
Prince Charming: So you do know where he is!
Pinocchio: I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that I undeniably...
Prince Charming: Stop It!
Pinocchio: Do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be. If that indeed wasn't where he isn't!

Rapunzel, Rapunzel. Let down your golden hair extensions.

Snow White

Help! I'm being kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me!


Now really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding?

Lord Farquaad

Shrek: Um... Fiona?
Princess Fiona: Yes, Shrek?
Shrek: I... I love you.
Princess Fiona: Really?
Shrek: Really, really!
Shrek: Mmmm... I love you too.

Donkey: Man, you are a cat-tastrophe.
Puss in Boots: And you, are ri-donk-ulous.
[Both laugh]

Shrek: [burps]
The Donkey: Shrek.
Shrek: What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say.
The Donkey: But that's no way to behave in front of a princess.
[Fiona burps louder]
Princess Fiona: Thanks.
The Donkey: [to Shrek] She's as nasty as you are.

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha.


Princess Fiona: [as ogre] Donkey, shh, shh. It's me... in this body.
Donkey: [gasps] Oh, my God, you ate the princess!

Donkey: So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
Shrek: In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her.
Donkey: I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.

Princess Fiona: You didn't slay the dragon?
Shrek: It's on my "to do" list. Now come on.
Princess Fiona: But this isn't right. You're meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying-that's what all the other knights did.
Shrek: Yeah, right before they burst into flames.

Donkey: Can I stay with you? Please?
Shrek: Of course.
Donkey: Really?
Shrek: NO.
Donkey: Please. I don't wanna go back there. You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak... Well, maybe you do, but that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!

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