Puss in Boots: I smell something familiar. Something dangerous. Something...breakfasty.
Humpty Dumpty: It's been a long time, brother.
Puss in Boots: Humpty Alexander Dumpty! How dare you show your face to me!
Humpty Dumpty: I know you're angry, you have every right, but it is good to see you Puss. Are those new boots?
Puss in Boots: No, they are the same boots I wore when you betrayed me.
Humpty Dumpty: Betrayed you? You left me cracked in pieces on a bridge, surrounded by soldiers -- they wrote a song about it!

[to Shrek as the ship leaves] Well my friend, you are royally...

Puss in Boots

I hate Mondays.

Puss-in-Boots

Gingerbread Man: All right. Do you know... the muffin man?
Lord Farquaad: The muffin man?
Gingerbread Man: The muffin man.
Lord Farquaad: Yes, I know the muffin man. Who lives on Drury Lane?
Gingerbread Man: She's married to the muffin man...
Lord Farquaad: The muffin man?
Gingerbread Man: The muffin man.
Lord Farquaad: She's married to the muffin man.

King: [Donkey sits at the table] No, no! Bad donkey! Bad, bad donkey!
Princess Fiona: It's okay, dad. He's with us. He helped rescue me from the tower.
Donkey: Yup, that's me, the noble steed. Hey waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed?

Princess Fiona: What kind of a knight are you?
Shrek: One of a kind.

It's gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on.

Donkey

Don't you point those dirty, green sausages at me!

Fairy Godmother

Oh, no no no no. Dead broad off the table.

This'll be fun. We'll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning... I'm making waffles.

Donkey

Shrek: Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
Donkey: Oh, man! Where do I begin? First there was the time the farmer traded me for some magic beans. I ain't never gotten over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "Piñata! Piñata!" What the hell is a piñata, anyway?

Puss-in-Boots: Stop, ogre! I have misjudged you.
Shrek: Join the club. We got jackets.

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