Princess Fiona: What kind of a knight are you?
Shrek: One of a kind.

[to the Dragon] Why of course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty... hey, what's the matter wit you, you got somethin' in your eye?


[to the Dragon] Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean white sparkly teeth, I know you probably hear this all the time from your food but you must bleach or something, 'cause that's one dazzling smile you got there and do I detect a hint of minty freshness?


And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin' outta my butt that day!


Princess Fiona: Shrek's hurt.
The Donkey: What? Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die!
Shrek: Donkey, I'm fine.
The Donkey: You can't die on me, Shrek! I'm too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich?

It's gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on.


Ship Captain: [menacingly] You're finished.
[Shrek, Puss in Boots, and Donkey turn and stare]
Ship Captain: [apologetically] Heh. With your journey!
[points to land]

All right, you're going the right way for a smack bottom.

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you, unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.


It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!

Gingerbread Man

Princess Fiona: What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.
Shrek: You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?

Lord Farquaad: Tell me where are the others.
Gingerbread Man: Eat me.

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