Princess Fiona: What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.
Shrek: You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?

Donkey: Hi, princess.
Princess Fiona: It talks.
Shrek: Yeah, but it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.

Princess Fiona: The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.
Shrek: Uh, no.
Princess Fiona: Why not?
Shrek: I have helmet hair.
Princess Fiona: Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.
Shrek: Oh, no, you wouldn't... tst.
Princess Fiona: But... how will you kiss me?
Shrek: What? That wasn't in the job description.
Donkey: Maybe it's a perk.

The Donkey: So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?
Shrek: Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.
The Donkey: Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there?
Shrek: That's the moon.
The Donkey: Oh, okay.

Princess Fiona: [turns into an ogre] I wanted to show you before.
Shrek: Well, er, that explains a lot.

Donkey: Wait a minute, I know what's going on. You're afraid of the dark.
Princess Fiona: Why... yes!
Donkey: Don't worry, princess. I used to be afraid of the dark until... No, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.

The kingdom of FAR FAR Away, Donkey? That's where we're going! FAR! FAR!... away.

Puss-in-Boots: Stop, ogre! I have misjudged you.
Shrek: Join the club. We got jackets.

Hey, boss. Let's shave him.


[after drinking a beauty potion]
Donkey: I don't *feel* any different. Do I look any different?
Puss-in-Boots: You still look like an ass to me!

I'm a real boy!


Shrek: So, Fiona's father paid you to do this?
Puss-in-Boots: Oh, the rich king? Sí.

FREE Movie Newsletter