Shrek: Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
Donkey: Oh, man! Where do I begin? First there was the time the farmer traded me for some magic beans. I ain't never gotten over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and they all starting trying to pin a tail on me. Then they all got drunk, and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "Piñata! Piñata!" What the hell is a piñata, anyway?

Aww, look at him, in his wee lil' boots! I mean, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly?

I say we take the sword and neuter him right here! Give him the Bob Barker treatment!


[to Puss] If we ever need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.


Shrek: Do you still know the Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: Yes, he's down on Drury Lane. Why?
Shrek: Because we're going to need flour. Lots and lots of flour.

I want what any princess wants - to live happily ever after... with the *ogre* I married.

Princess Fiona

Shrek and I drank this potion and now... we're sexy!


[running ahead of giant gingerbread man] Run, run as fast as you can!


[trying to convince Shrek not to neuter him] Please, no, por favor, por favor, please no, I implore you. I was doing it for my family! My mother she's sick and my father he lives off the garbage. The king offered me much money and I have a little brother...


Donkey: I don't wanna die...! I don't wanna DIE! Oh sweet sister mother of mercy... I'm melting...! I'm MEEELTIIING!
Shrek: It's just the rain, Donkey.

Well, the abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus here at the Far Far Away royal ball. The carriages are all lined up as the cream of the crop pours out of them like Miss Muffet's curds and whey.


Donkey: [after becoming Puss-in-Boots] I've been abra-cadabra'd into a Fancy Feasting, second-rate sidekick!
Shrek: Donkey...
Donkey: I feel all exposed and nasty!

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