[voiceover] Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale... if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world... somebody lied.

Peter Parker

Mary Jane Watson: [in Aunt May's backyard] I liked seeing you tonight, Peter.
Peter Parker: Oh boy, yeah...
Mary Jane Watson: Oh boy, yeah, what?
Peter Parker: Nothing.
Mary Jane Watson: You want to say something?
Peter Parker: I... was... wondering if you're still in the village...
Mary Jane Watson: You're such a mystery. Peter...
Peter Parker: What?
Mary Jane Watson: Happy Birthday!

[narrating] She looks at me everyday. Mary Jane Watson. Oh boy! If she only knew how I felt about her. But she can never know. I made a choice once to live a life of responsibility. A life she can never be a part of. Who am I? I'm Spider-Man, given a job to do. And I'm Peter Parker, and I too have a job.

Peter Parker

J. Jonah Jameson: [John Jameson has just been left at the altar by Mary Jane] Call Debra.
Mrs. Jameson: The caterer?
J. Jonah Jameson: Tell her not to open the caviar.

Sorry I'm late, it's a jungle out there; I had to beat an old lady with a stick to get these cranberries.

Peter Parker

Mary Jane Watson: [sees Peter Parker approach her] Oh... you.
Peter Parker: Listen, I'm sorry, but there was a disturbance.
Mary Jane Watson: I don't know you and I can't keep thinking about you. It's too painful.
Peter Parker: I've been reading poetry lately.
Mary Jane Watson: Whatever that means.
Peter Parker: Day by day he gazed upon her, Day by day he sighed with passion, Day by day...
Mary Jane Watson: [Interrupts Parker] Don't start.

Doc Ock: [grabs Spider-Man in the bank] You're getting on my nerves.
Spider-Man: I have a knack for that.
Doc Ock: Not anymore.

Dr. Otto Octavius: Before we start, did anyone lose a bunch of twenties rolled up in a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.
[slight laugh]
Dr. Otto Octavius: It's a terrible joke... But thank you for coming.

Peter Parker: Would you think about it?
Mary Jane Watson: Think about what?
Peter Parker: Picking up where we left off.
Mary Jane Watson: Where was that? We never got on. You can't get off if you don't get on Peter.

Elevator Passenger: Cool Spidey outfit.
Spider-Man: Thanks.
Elevator Passenger: Where did you get it?
Spider-Man: I made it.
[pause]
Elevator Passenger: Looks uncomfortable...
Spider-Man: Yeah, it's kind of itchy...
[pause]
Spider-Man: ...and it rides up in the crotch a little bit, too.

Mary Jane: You're amazing.
Spider-Man: Some people don't think so...
Mary Jane: But you are.
Spider-Man: Nice to have a fan...

Peter Parker: Some spiders change colors to blend into their environment. It's a defense mechanism.
Harry Osborn: Peter, what makes you think I would want to know that?
Peter Parker: Who wouldn't?

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